


To Be An Angel

by Ecinue



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angels, Blue Sonder AU, Death of Non Important People :D, Demons, I dare you to paypal me your anger, Mentioned Philza, Mentioned Technoblade, Mentioned TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Wilbur Soot, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Niki Eret Tubbo are a flock, Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, no beta we die like l'manberg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ecinue/pseuds/Ecinue
Summary: What does it mean to be an angel?Blue Sonder AU credit to @chewwypepsicola on Twitter.
Relationships: Eret & Niki | Nihachu, Niki | Nihachu & Tubbo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 228
Collections: Blue Sonder AU





	To Be An Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Reminders: Niki is referred to with she/her, Eret with they/them, and Tubbo with he/him pronouns in this.
> 
> THIS IS NOT CANON UNLESS ENE SUDDENLY SAYS SO!!! THIS IS MY INTERPRETATION OF SOMETHING THE BLUE SONDER AU!
> 
> Blue Sonder AU credit to @chewwypepsicola on Twitter. (See End Notes for a full explanation of the inspiration for this fic.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Please be aware that everything I write is fictional and by no means supposed to allude to what should really happen. I have no intention of making these creators uncomfortable and if any of the people mentioned here blatantly state that they are uncomfortable with this, I will immediately remove this work.

**"I do my best to love every day."**

\- _Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird_ -

* * *

To be an angel is an honor. At least, that was what Niki was taught.

To be an angel meant that they had a duty to protect the world and Heaven from any and all impurities. To be an angel meant that they had a duty to be an icon for others, a beacon of purity and superiority. As a guardian angel, she had a _job_ to do. She was to hunt down demons and fallen, enemies and reveals, _vermin_ and _traitors_. To be an angel was a difficult task. To be an angel and have empathy was a death wish. To be an angel with her status, with her empathy, with her conflicting mind...Niki doesn’t know how she’s still alive.

Niki was born in the golden pools of Heaven, as all angels are. She remembers her arrival very clearly. There were many other angels gathered around the pools, primarily those with a role known as Caretaker. She remembers forming and being greeted by many, many of which their excitement was evident. Apparently, she was a _Guardian_ , one of the most important roles in all of Heaven. She had been confused at first, not sure what her purpose was as she trailed after the Caretaker that was designated to watch over her.

Her flockmates were...different. She never found herself connecting to them and often distanced herself away from them. They didn’t understand her, didn’t understand the things that she valued. It was alright. She didn’t expect them to. As lonely as it was being alone, she grew used to it.

~~~~~

She had first been made aware of her job when a Guardian brought back a being with wings dark as the night. She had hidden behind her Caretaker’s robes, watching curiously in horror as the Guardian dragged the being through the streets of Heaven. Countless numbers of angels sneered at the being, hissing their insults and emitting hatred. The being had looked defeated, their wings dropping, their body battered and bruised. What little light in their eyes seemed to be snuffed out as the Guardian presented the being to the Council.

_“A traitor for an execution,"_ The Guardian had rasped, pride swelling in their voice.

The Council had smiled approvingly and at that moment, her Caretaker moved in front of her to hide the view of the being’s death from her. It didn’t matter. Niki could still hear the being’s shrieks of pain and the disgusting sounds of blood. Her Caretaker had taken her away and sat her down gently, explaining what Guardians were responsible for.

_“To be a Guardian is to be ruthless,”_ Her Caretaker had murmured. _“Niki, you’re an angel full of empathy and kindness, and passion. Sometimes, I wonder why you’re a Guardian. You’re not made to become a Guardian.”_

Niki had been confused. _“Why is being a Guardian hard?”_

_“To be a Guardian means that you must hunt down demons and rebels,”_ Her Caretaker explained. _“You have to kill and you must bend your will to obey the council. The kindness that you carry will be your downfall.”_

_“Why doesn’t the council like kindness?”_ Niki did not understand.

The Caretaker gave her a sad smile. _“I don’t know.”_

~~~~~

Niki learns to hide her emotions, reserve her kindness, plaster on a mask of ruthlessness. She learns to push down the guilt of killing, feigning a smirk on her face, quietly crying in the night when she’s alone and none is near. She’s a little older now and she finds that she’s alone as ever, none of her flockmates wanting anything to do with her. They avoid her like she’s a plague, an anomaly in their perfect group. Strangely enough, she didn’t know what to feel. Yes, she was hurt that she was excluded, but she felt no care for them. They were like blemishes that begged for attention by hating on her.

Instead of paying attention to them, she poured her dedication into her job. She was Guardian and she hunted relentlessly, rising in the ranks and gaining the favor of the Council. The guilt never leaves, churning in her gut, taunting her through her nights. It takes a lot of her will to keep her mask on, to pretend as if she feels nothing for the people she catches, to act as if she is alright.

Are the other angels as lonely as she is?

~~~~~

The first time she loses control of herself is when she discovers her Caretaker’s fate.

The elder angel’s home had been infiltrated by rebels, _fallen angels_ , and the angel had been speared alive, gutted for the world to see. It had been a massacre and the community had been in shock. In hindsight, Niki would be ashamed to admit it but when she had reached the site to see the bloodbath, she had completely lost control. An angel’s wrath is fatal and she was merciless.

She is powerful and she is a Guardian, wielding her bow and arrows of light with no kindness as she strikes down the rebels. They shriek in fear and panic when they see her, her white wings reflected by the light that emits from her halo. Her magic is terrifying, radiating off of her body, rivaling that of the elders. Briefly, she wonders if the Council is horrified by what they have produced.

The aftermath is terrible, the floors of the formerly clean temple now stained with crimson blood. The bodies of the fallen as skewered to the ground, pinned and pierced with arrows of light. Some of them are not dead yet, forced to suffer. There is no guilt here. They have killed her Caretaker. She does not care for them.

They killed the only other person of _her_ flock. They deserve to die.

( _The Council does not say anything. They merely remove the bodies and offer the temple to her, an offering that acts as an apology. She accepts._ )

Her flock of two is now one.

~~~~~

After her act of revenge, she isolates herself from those that call themselves her flock. They are not her flock and she voices that to the council, her voice stern and her eyes empty. Her home is not open to those that wish to take advantage of her, she says coldly, and she will readily slaughter the targets that the Council gives her as long as they let her live in peace.

They agree.

The temple is lonely sometimes since she’s the only angel around. There are two other angels that were apprentices of the Caretaker and they remain to help maintain the temple but they mainly stick to the West Wing, watching over the new angels. Niki remains on the East Wing, away from those pure angels. They do not need her to taint them.

She is lonely.

~~~~~

She meets Eret when they’re assigned on a mission together.

They’re to track down demons and she can’t find it in herself to recover the exact details of the mission. All she remembers is the look on the face of the other angel.

Niki knows how she looks like to other angels. They think that she’s weak and she’s timid and her short stature makes her an easy target. She hears the whispers between the ranks, the other angels wondering if she somehow weaseled her way into such a high position of being a Guardian. The Council had covered up her crimes of massacre and she paid for that with her freedom.

On the battlefield, she cuts down all of her opponents with such precise accuracy that Eret had paused in their shooting to gaze at her in awe. Is this where their friendship started? She doesn’t remember.

It’s not so lonely anymore. Eret is kind.

Her flock of one grows to two.

~~~~~

The second time she snaps is when an elder Council angel tries to persuade her to kill Eret.

The elder beckons her to the side and smiles, a crooked smile. The angel offers her a deal.

_“You want to escape from Heaven, right?”_ The angel smirks. _“I have an offer.”_

_“Go on.”_

_“I can get you out of this place. We can frame one of the elders for a murder and then the hierarchy will be screwed. All you have to do is kill that Guardian that works with you-”_

A slash. A gurgle. A head plops to the ground. Deafening silence.

She delivers the angel’s corpse to the Council. They smile at her, cold and full of malice, and approve.

_“Well done,”_ They chant, _“well done on tracking down the traitor.”_

She smiles back, cold and full of malice, and bows.

_“Pleasure to be at your service.”_

~~~~~

They gain an apprentice.

An angel, so small and pure, is gifted to them. They are told to train him, to train the young angel to be a ruthless killer. Niki stares down at this boy and she wonders if she can do it. The angel is like her, bright and full of empathy, traits that will get them killed. He stares up at her with wide, wondering eyes, and at that moment, Niki knows that she will protect this angel with her life, even if it’ll get her killed.

_“Tubbo,”_ She calls to him one day. He whips around, wings twitching curiously.

_“Yes?”_

_“Come here. Eret and I want to talk to you,”_ She beckons the boy forward and he darts forward, plopping down on the floor of the training room, sitting down across from her. He crosses his legs as she kneels, Eret standing behind her.

_“Am I in trouble?”_ He asks, eyes flitting between the two of them nervously. _“I’m sorry for whatever I did wrong.”_

Her heart aches at that pitiful expression and she smiles. _“Don’t worry, Tubbo. You’re not in trouble. We just want to talk to you.”_

He blinks in confusion.

_“You’re going to be going on your first mission soon,”_ Eret murmurs, _“and the world is not kind to angels like us. We’re different from all of the others and it is hard to stay alive.”_

_“What Eret means to say is that we have_ ** _rules_ **_for you,”_ Niki shoots Eret a glare, the latter sighing in exasperation. _“You must follow these rules, no matter what, okay?”_

Tubbo nods his head rapidly.

_“Number 1, you_ ** _must_ **_stay alive,”_ Niki held up a finger, despair flashing through her eyes. _“No matter what you do, you have to stay alive. This is the most important one.”_

Tubbo frowned but nodded.

_“Number 2,”_ Eret spoke up, _“if you sense a demon or a rebel beyond your capabilities, do not go in alone. You’re smart, you can figure out which ones are too powerful or not. Stay with your backup.”_

Another nod.

_“Number 3, never disobey the orders of the Council. You will die if you do. Obey their orders even if it seems wrong. Your emotions will be the death of you if you act on them.”_

A third nod.

Three rules, that’s all there was. The duo offered three rules and Tubbo followed.

( _The duo don’t speak of the fourth rule, not yet anyway. The fourth rule, Number 4, is for Tubbo to leave them behind for his own life. In retrospect, they should’ve known that he couldn’t leave them behind. Their flock of three is inseparable after all._ )

~~~~~

They fall.

She loses control for the third time.

Niki sends Eret and Tubbo to Earth and she unleashes her fury on Heaven. By the end of it, an entire temple’s grounds are filled with corpses, limbs scattered about, and wings were torn from their owners.

She runs and a bounty is out for her head.

~~~~~

To be an angel is suffocating.

She hates being an angel.

What good use is it to be an angel if she cannot help her friends?

( _Eret trembles in the aftermath, the heels of their palms digging into their empty eye sockets, wishing that they could cry. Niki’s tears can’t save his sight._ )

What good use is it to be an angel if she cannot escape the crime of killing?

( _She kills the hunters that come after Tubbo. She relishes in their screams. Her halo’s magic throb with every single kill, stretching out to dance in the hunters’ corpses, taunting their foolishness._ ) 

What good use is it to be an angel if she can only watch from afar?

( _Tubbo screams and cries at times and no one can help. She watches helplessly as the only person that can calm him down is Tommy. It hurts._ )

She does not enjoy being an angel. She hates being a Guardian. She wants to kill the Council.

Niki is smart, smarter than what others account her for. She knows what Techno is, she can feel the buzz of the souls within his body. She can sense the sheer power that Phil holds despite his first layer of magic appearing to be so thin. She feels the aura of someone, _something_ , more powerful wrapping itself around Tommy. She sees the way that Wilbur fidgets when he spends too much time around Techno, the souls reaching for him.

Niki is smart but sometimes, her emotions take over her logic. She cares too much about her flock. She wonders why. Her Caretaker’s lessons come back to her.

> _“Your flock is your lifeline. To have a member of your flock die is the worst-case scenario. Protect them, Niki, save them. The Council is not kind.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Ahaha, angst go brr. Fourth fic of memory lane will be posted by Thanksgiving. I'm slowly getting back into the groove, I promise. It's just that Blue Sonder took over my brain.
> 
> Also, I know that Guardian Angels are low-ranked angels however that doesn't mean that they aren't favored. Niki, for example, is a Guardian along with Eret and they are low ranks, but Niki is considered a higher rank than Eret because of the Council's favoritism for her.
> 
>   
> [Feel free to come to yell at me at @ecinue_unicorn on Twitter!](https://twitter.com/ecinue_unicorn)  
> [Check out my Carrd!~](https://ecinue.carrd.co)


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